Parent Orientation.

A scorching hot Saturday saw me heading to UCT for my Parent Orientation Programme, to best facilitate my daughter's arrival and survival on campus.  (At last, I can use the word "campus" in it's true sense. A school is a school and a university is a campus. Finis.) What a wonderful idea, as the transition from school to university is fairly monumental, and we'd all like to help her over this time with as much love and understanding and support as we can possible muster. UCT is such a beautiful place to study, with it's unrivalled position on the slopes of Devil's Peak and magnificent old buildings. I felt like a student myself, puffing up Jammie's steps to listen to the inaugural speech by the Deputy vice-chancellor, Prof Crain Soudein, a warm and eloquent man, whom I imagine started his studies at UCT in 1973 under difficult racial circumstances. I was moved listening to all the subsequent introductory stuff, thinking of course how far we have moved on in south Africa. The speakers all hoped that we would back in those same seats in four to six years to see our babies being capped and gowned, and that prospect, of course, further reduced me to tears. Oh, the joys of motherhood!

We then split up to be addressed by the individual Deans of Faculties, and I listened with no small amount of fear and awe as an attractive, confident woman, younger than me, gave us the lowdown on the workload for Law students. I'm sure I asked the dumbest questions, and cried nervous tears in the hope that our baby is up to the challenge, and made friends with other trepidatious new parents, hoping our children would have someone to connect with on their first day, but I left with a happy heart. The Dean assured us that she was there to help, and outlined the student mentor system and all the other support systems in place to help first year students. I so hope that our little Miss Suzy Q No 1 will find her feet and flourish in this nurturing environment, and I give bountiful thanks for this opportunity.  


The times, they really are a'changing, and again, all for the better. I too went to university, having just turned 17 (my daughter is a day or two short of 19) and was all but dumped at the door of res and left to my own devices. There was no orientation for students, let alone parents, and this was yet another rite of passage to cope with and conquer alone. In fact, even though we were under age, we were plied with drink by the randy SRC and Rag Comm members, marched around the field in a cattle parade for drummy selection, and given no academic support whatsoever. Still, there was something so glamorous about seeing our beautiful Rag Queen, dressed in white dress and gloves, flanked by her two princesses aboard her float on Rag Day. Has feminism ruined the aspirations of beautiful young women who will never again have this moment, or is it better to level the playing fields and have no unfair advantage and be judged for academic achievements only? Come on, everybody loves a looker, so why discriminate on campus? Those who might want to enter a beauty pageant should have the right to do so, and those who don't can avoid the whole sexist scenario. Miss World still exists for a good and commercial reason.

My happy day on campus ended on a slightly sour note, sorry to say, as I'd prefer to focus on the positive. Having watched an Orientation video of students discussing the cultural diversity they experienced emerging from their childhood comfort zones, the parents were asked to turn to their neighbours and tell their stories about preparing their children for university. As I was on the end of a row of seats, I turned expectantly towards the Muslim man on my left, who was accompanied by his wife and daughter, hoping to break new ground, but he studiously avoided me and continued talking to his family on his left. A crying shame, when a handshake, or a smile or a minute or two of idle parental chit chat would have broken good ground. Ah well, I had met so many pleasant and excited parents of all races that morning, and we were all on the road to building a bright future for our children and our country. 


Let not one miserable, inward looking man ruin it for the rest...


Suzy Q