Been an exciting day or two for ol' Suzy Q. First I received death threats from the founders of Ashley Madison after my last posting, (only kidding) which actually pipped an article on them entitled adultery.com a profitable affair in The Cape Argus by a day, so stick with me kids and we'll sock it to you first from your favourite blog.
Yesterday Mr SQ and I decided to play hooky and try out one of the Baxter Theatre's Morning Melodies concerts, which happen once a month. At R30 a ticket you really can't go wrong for a live performance we reckoned. I'm not the greatest fan of the building which opened in August 1977 at the bequest of the former mayor, William Duncan Baxter to create a theatre complex at UCT which would be independent of the state run Nico Malan Theatre. However, seeing it in the daylight was an unusual experience for me, and I rather liked the natural light and the views of the foliage through the large glass windows. It was bitterly cold following Tuesday's torrential rain, so we bundled up and were very glad to have booked tickets beforehand. For a mad moment I thought we'd been dropped into the set for a commercial for a retirement village. There sure are plenty of silver haired folk out there and they were out in force at the Baxter yesterday morning. Yikes, is that us in 10, 20 or 30 years time!? Oh well, good for the goldy oldies to get out and take advantage of this wonderful event, and I do hope that I am in the same state of health to do the same when I reach their age. I just hope I don't regress as some of them seem to have done by talking and tapping loudly whilst unwrapping my cellophane wrapped sweeties.
The programme kicked off promptly at 10.30am with an introduction and then a most enjoyable hour and a half of arias sung by Violina Anguelov (mezzo-soprano) and Beverley Chiat (coloratura soprano) accompanied by Victor Tichart on the piano. Dahlings, such talent we have in our fair city. The ladies sparkled in their shimmering dresses.
(Notes to self:- 1. Must up my game and do the dusting in a sequinned ball gown with sexy ties down the back. 2. Should also practice my scales while I'm at it.)
The programme included popular favourites that even an opera fan who might not qualify as a buff would enjoy, and I sat back and was transported into a world of midmornng musical magic.
www.baxter.co.za
Local lady, Beverley, and the Bulgarian born Violina seem to have been born to form a formidable duet, being of such similar slim builds with wild dark hair. They entertained us with saucy winks and smiles, and seemed to be enjoying themselves as much as we were. When they took a few moments to change into - gasp - identical dresses, Victor played amusing piano solos for us. It was simply wonderful to be transported out of the real world and have our fears for the future of our land allayed for a while in this veneer of civilization. Thank you and encore Beverley, Violina and Victor. I'm definitely booking for James Grace's "I Love a Guitar" on 18 July and may just subscribe to the series from July to December for a mere R150, as we really enjoyed our Warmth in Winter event so much.
www.republicradio.co.za
In the evening we went to Kalk Bay Books to hear Marianne Thamm interview that doyenne of South African magazine publishing, Jane Raphaely about her recently published autobiography, but left feeling rather bored by the whole overcrowded occasion. A pity as we have attended some really enjoyable book talks there previously, but this one just didn't do it for us. I'm not quite sure whether or not Marianne was intimidated by her former mentor and boss, as she had been outstanding when she took on Gareth Cliff, Denis Beckett and Martin Welz at the Franschhoek Literary Festival in May. So much so that she was, I reckoned, a woman with male appendages in her pants. I fear that they had deflated by last night.
www.flf.co.za
www.thesoapgirls.co.za
This morning I spent some time at the studio of Republic Radio in Hout Bay, which I wrote about recently, chatting on air to Tom Purcell about the Life and Times of Suzy Q, a few other random topics, and spinning some good discs, which was most enjoyable. So there you go, my five minutes of fame, if not fortune at last. Thanks for the time Tom and to anybody who tuned in. Stay tuned in for easy listening 24 hours a day, with a few fascinating guests thrown in too. I was followed by the sassy local Soap Girls who were ready to entertain the teeny girl fans after I left. Hmmm, think I should spice up my act and join a girl band in my next life...?
Lotsa love,
Suzy Q
Lots of talk lately of the arrival in South Africa of, wait for it, the world's largest, most successful and reputedly discreet online extramarital affair website. Those adjectives coupled with the service they are offering leaves my little head reeling.
I'm talking of Ashley Madison, and I first heard of it on the news last week further to the founder owners visiting Cape Town to promote their site and services. Noel Biderman and his Cape Town reared wife, Amanda (now there's a daughter of the Mother City of whom we can all be extremely proud) claimed that there is a demand for them here which they picked up from site traffic reports. Where would we be without useful market research like this, ladies and gents?
Granted I grew up in the Dark Ages, but in my old fashioned book, the purpose of marriage is to love each other, warts, picadilloes, kids, old age and all, for the creation of a stable family unit, which in turn will send young adults out into the world with a strong moral core who will continue the process, trying to make society a better place. I am also fully aware that adultery has been around since Biblical times and beyond, but it was then a stonable offence. It is also very strong grounds for expensive, acrimonious divorces and the breakdown of families in modern times. Imagine my shock when I tentatively googled www.ashleymadison.com to discover that their website has a picture of a female with a finger over her lips and the mission statement Life is Short. Have an Affair. As blatant as that, and boasting 14 700 000 members.
I'm no Mother Grundy, but I really am incredulous. There goes the sanctity of marriage in one moment. I am fortunate enough to have many good friends (not forgetting the most wonderful husband I could ever hope for) who all seem to be trying to do it right through life, being good, loyal wives, mothers, husbands and fathers (unless I'm reading everybody wrong?) So where do all these other people, ready to drop their draws at the flick of an Internet key come from? Do they really expect that a "discreet" affair with a bored stranger in their locale, or further afield, will have no repercussions on their lives, relationships, homes, psyches and sexual health? And with the world as interconnected as it is today, there are no secrets any more. EVERYbody knows somebody you know and if the casual sex is hot, and even if it's not, the wires will burn, baby.
Historically, Ashley Madison seems to be a genuine success story. Noel, that romantic little rascal, launched it on Valentine's Day 2002. The site calls itself The Original Extramarital Affairs Site. 100% free for Women. (Why?) Married and looking? They advertise extensively on billboards as well. So imagine Noel or Amanda driving into work one morning after a sleepless night with sick, howling babies, obviously no sex and a bit of a tired tiff thrown in for good measure. All they have to do is sign up with Ashley Madison for a bit of uncomplicated slap and tickle to make them feel better about themselves, or according to Noel, "strengthen their marriage." Where they will find the time, venue and energy will remain a mystery to me. There is however, something fundamentally wrong in encouraging people to stray from their partners, when more time should be spent promoting the benefits of fidelity, trust and family values, those very morals we all signed up for when we got married.
Rather ironically, Amanda Biderman doesn't condone infidelity, but accepts that Ashley Madison is a business, which coincidentally has generated millions in income for the couple. That's rather like saying my husband deals in drugs but heaven help anybody who supplies my kids with them. The lines, I'm afraid, are very fudged here.
I'm going to have to put on my thinking cap to come up with a less disturbing concept for my next blog posting - anything in particular you'd like to hear about?
Please email me at suzyqueue75@gmail.com You know I just LOVE to hear from you. And thanks for asking, my midwinter swim was, if somewhat lonely (I live in a world of wuss's) most enjoyable, and definitely pepped up my sluggish winter circulation.
Stand by your man, or woman, kids!
Love,
Suzy Q
OMG kids, this photo from The Telegraph last week of a 6' boa constrictor sighted in a local beauty spot in Yorkshire in the UK got me worrying quite a lot. As my family know, being a wife and mother has turned me into a serial worrier, so this is at least a bit of a distraction for me or a brief respite for them. Now, if I read the situation right, Inspectress Suzy Q noted that a 6' boa constrictor was reported missing in East Sussex at the beginning of the month. It's owner(!?) informed all and sundry that it would be on the hunt for food as it was hungry, in an area inhabited by the elderly and their pets. The mischievous sprite in me wonders which the half starved, recently liberated reptile would actually prefer?
Let me confess that I am terrified of snakes. Nothing Freudian about this chaps, it comes from a very real fear of growing up in mamba country. Green or black, take your pick. Lethal either way. As a tiny tot, Suzy Q had a night adder pass over her foot (or at least close enough to touch, not being one prone to exaggeration) and thought she was a dead cert for Springbok Radio's Death Touched my Shoulder. Golly gosh, did I forget to mention that programme when I wrote about old radio shows recently? Please do forgive me, specially those who wrote in about their favourite old programmes. Thanks for taking the time to write and sharing those memories of Next Stop Makouvlei, Father Dear Father, Pick a Box, Check your Mate and Test the Team with me. Memories indeed.
Anyway, this old boa on the loose in England, far, far from it's homeland in South America, got me wondering how and why it came to be there. And is it the same one which escaped or are there others slithering around that little rainswept island? It seems that boas travel very slowly, so it may indeed be another reptile on the run. (Or not. Sorry no pun intended.) St Patrick, where are you when we need you? I'm sure it will be a great relief to the pensioners, pet and smallholding owners when at least one is captured. It also seems that there is a roaring trade in these exotic, but dangerous creatures, though why anybody would want to keep one is beyond me.
So, I'll have to share an old story and a funny memory with you too. Way back in the 80's I was the only foreign student on a course in the South of England. Apart from being desperately cold, and both homesick and lovesick, I was ostracized by the other members on the postgrad course for being a South African. I was quite affronted and confused when they attacked me and accused me, a liberal, of being personally responsible for all the atrocities of the apartheid regime. So to add to my joy, I was desperately lonely and victimized as well. Just my luck though, the somewhat eccentric chief tutor took a liking to me. She traditionally invited all her students to her home for a celebration at the end of the course, there to meet her pet boa constrictor, Rosie. I'd spent the entire course wondering how I could inconspicuously avoid the occasion so as not to expose my herpetophobia and jeopardize my marks. For some strange reason, she decided to invite only me to her end of year bash. The rest of the beastly bunch got wind of this and taunted me mercilessly with stories about how weird she was and what she and Rosie were likely to do to me. Panic attack, as I was in truth, an illegal alien, who'd slipped under the radar as a student, and I couldn't risk failing and getting thrown out of the country. How else would I ever get to see the future Mr SQ again? True Confessions of a much younger Suzy Q for you!
What to do? I phoned her to say that somebody had put sugar in the tank of my old banger and it wouldn't start. She offered to come collect me. Yikes, I'd be there alone with no means of escape. My car was suddenly fine again, and I contemplated whether I should drink so much of her famed elderberry wine that I would be oblivious to Rosie slithering in her glass chamber as we ate, or to abstain entirely in case it was laced and I'd wake up naked with Rosie draped all over me!? This was Real Fear. I think I must have opted for the former, for I have not much recall of the evening, but I know I beat a hasty retreat, feigning a death in the family or something similar. You can imagine how popular I was at prize giving when I got top marks though. Ha ha ha.
Slithering snakes. Obviously some people love 'em, whilst others loathe 'em. Alice Cooper, that black eyed rock star of the seventies performed with a boa constrictor. That was when he wasn't biting the heads off chickens on stage. Still, he did make some good music. Closer to home, our very own lissom Glenda Kemp performed at stag parties and corporate functions with her python. The mind boggles, but the men, purportedly goggled. Today she seems to have found the Lord, apparently regretting exposing her youthful body and offering us exposure to her soul instead, through prayer.
www.glendakemp.wordpress.com
Hmmm, just wondering how many different lives are left in me, and you, and you? Food for thought...
From a slightly bemused Suzy Q, who will no doubt have nightmares tonight!!
Adieu xx
