How to meet a cheat...

Lots of talk lately of the arrival in South Africa of, wait for it, the world's largest, most successful and reputedly discreet online extramarital affair website. Those adjectives coupled with the service they are offering leaves my little head reeling.

I'm talking of Ashley Madison, and I first heard of it on the news last week further to the founder owners visiting Cape Town to promote their site and services. Noel Biderman and his Cape Town reared wife, Amanda (now there's a daughter of the Mother City of whom we can all be extremely proud) claimed that there is a demand for them here which they picked up from site traffic reports. Where would we be without useful market research like this, ladies and gents? 

Granted I grew up in the Dark Ages, but in my old fashioned book, the purpose of marriage is to love each other, warts, picadilloes, kids, old age and all, for the creation of a stable family unit, which in turn will send young adults out into the world with a strong moral core who will continue the process, trying to make society a better place. I am also fully aware that adultery has been around since Biblical times and beyond, but it was then a stonable offence. It is also very strong grounds for expensive, acrimonious divorces  and the breakdown of families in modern times. Imagine my shock when I tentatively googled www.ashleymadison.com to discover that their website has a picture of a female with a finger over her lips and the mission statement Life is Short. Have an Affair. As blatant as that, and boasting 14 700 000 members.

I'm no Mother Grundy, but I really am incredulous. There goes the sanctity of marriage in one moment. I am fortunate enough to have many good friends (not forgetting the most wonderful husband I could ever hope for) who all seem to be trying to do it right through life, being good, loyal wives, mothers, husbands and fathers (unless I'm reading everybody wrong?) So where do all these other people, ready to drop their draws at the flick of an Internet key come from? Do they really expect that a "discreet" affair with a bored stranger in their locale, or further afield, will have no repercussions on their lives, relationships, homes, psyches and sexual health? And with the world as interconnected as it is today, there are no secrets any more. EVERYbody knows somebody you know and if the casual sex is hot, and even if it's not, the wires will burn, baby.

Historically, Ashley Madison seems to be a genuine success story. Noel, that romantic little rascal, launched it on Valentine's Day 2002. The site calls itself The Original Extramarital Affairs Site. 100% free for Women. (Why?) Married and looking? They advertise extensively on billboards as well. So imagine Noel or Amanda driving into work one morning after a sleepless night with sick, howling babies, obviously no sex and a bit of a tired tiff thrown in for good measure. All they have to do is sign up with Ashley Madison for a bit of uncomplicated slap and tickle to make them feel better about themselves, or according to Noel, "strengthen their marriage." Where they will find the time, venue and energy will remain a mystery to me. There is however, something fundamentally wrong in encouraging people to stray from their partners, when more time should be spent promoting the benefits of fidelity, trust and family values, those very morals we all signed up for when we got married. 

                                           Didn't they?


Rather ironically, Amanda Biderman doesn't condone infidelity, but accepts that Ashley Madison is a business, which coincidentally has generated millions in income for the couple. That's rather like saying my husband deals in drugs but heaven help anybody who supplies my kids with them. The lines, I'm afraid, are very fudged here.

I'm going to have to put on my thinking cap to come up with a less disturbing concept for my next blog posting - anything in particular you'd like to hear about?

Please email me at suzyqueue75@gmail.com You know I just LOVE to hear from you. And thanks for asking, my midwinter swim was, if somewhat lonely (I live in a world of wuss's) most enjoyable, and definitely pepped up my sluggish winter circulation.




Stand by your man, or woman, kids!
















Love, 
Suzy Q